Hey there! Before we get into it, take note:
I’m disappointed we had to reschedule, but rest assured the Jan. 12 event will be extra-special. Hope to see you there.
And now: This week I’ve been reading Streaming Now by Laurie Stone and Balladz by Sharon Olds, two books that were written (at least partly) during the pandemic. Streaming Now is just what the title suggests — a fantastic, stream-of-consciousness series of short “postcards” about our current times — along with whatever movies/TV/pop culture Laurie is ingesting. (Dare I say it’s quite similar to one of those “blogs” we used to hear about back in the day …)
Sharon Olds is one of our greatest living American poets, and I love how her work has resonated with me in different ways over the 25+ years I’ve been reading it. Balladz includes a long section of poems written in isolation during the pandemic. Her words are beautiful and brutal, and her thoughts on aging, motherhood, divorce, nature, sex and loneliness will nestle into your brain.
In the spirit of these books, I’m pasting a few recent diary entries below. I didn’t edit myself very much and just let my mind meander. As someone recently told me about Keith Richards, “What you see is what you get. He’s just Keith Richards, and he’s Keith all the time.”
sunday 11/13
Today I heard my daughter singing “I’m Just a Bill” from Schoolhouse Rock!. That song is a year older than I am, and I’m glad it has stood the test of time. (She also won’t stop singing “All Star” by Smash Mouth. How depressing to know that song will surely outlive all of us.)
Season 2 of The White Lotus is well-written and watchable. At some point, every series does an episode where characters get wasted and dance and go swimming. Michael Imperioli seals the deal for me. A few years ago he wrote a novella called The Perfume Burned His Eyes, which is about a teenager who befriends Lou Reed. I liked it so much that I’d be OK if he quit acting to write books, like Meg Tilly and Gene Hackman. (Unrelated, but I love that the guy who played Charlie in Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory is now a veterinarian.)
monday 11/14
Woke up at 3 a.m. and didn’t fall back asleep until 5:30. I put on the Las Culturistas podcast, where they were talking about the Real Housewives in soothing tones.
When I was at USA Today, there was a dark period where I had to recap the first season of The Real Housewives of Orange County. Few things make me feel less like a real writer than recapping a TV show. In 2014 when I was looking for work, an editor at another publication asked if I’d like to recap some shows for them. I had to say no. If I’d said yes I’d probably have to get back on SSRIs.
Anyway, the OC Real Housewives was a gateway drug that lured me into watching other reality shows for many years until I finally quit them all. But still sometimes I listen to a podcast where they talk about those shows, and it almost always puts me to sleep within 20 minutes.
On the walk to my studio this morning, I stopped at CVS and a manager was reprimanding and/or firing a young employee. I think maybe he thought the employee was stoned (and who can blame him, really). “I’m sending you home!” the manager said. “I know you’re not OK – I can see it when I look you in the eyes.” Then a customer walked in with a big iced coffee, and the manager turned chipper: “Good morning! That coffee sure looks good, next time bring me one!”
Twice now I’ve asked why they lock up the toothpaste at CVS. They avoid the question. Is Brooklyn really teeming with Colgate thieves??
tuesday 11/15
Watched the season premiere of Yellowstone, which was heavy on agriculture. Like most people, I started watching during the pandemic and fell for its soapy big skies. It’s basically Mad Men on a ranch: lots of whiskey, money and yelling. I love it.
I know several people who are sick right now with COVID and/or the flu, which means I’m constantly paranoid about getting sick. I took my temperature three times and it was all 99.1, which was the same radio station I listened to growing up. Today, that frequency is called “Bloomberg Radio” and just plays news all day. I guess kids aren’t saved by the radio anymore.
Re-examined the plot of a holiday movie I wrote last year and am trying to write it as a short story. It’s always good to have lots of projects in the works, even though most artists hate to be asked that question in an interview: “So hey, let’s stop talking about the cool thing you just did – what’s next?”
wednesday 11/16
Last night I stayed up reading Not All Robots, a comic about robots that have replaced humans in the workforce so that people can do more interesting things like … complain about the robots. I love how they make it clear that robots did not take over the salon industry and real humans still cut hair. It’s unclear if robots write stories and songs, though. A lot of songs I hear now sound like they were written by robots, and I don’t care if that makes me sound old.
In 2004 I met a guy with a robot in his apartment. I’d been sent to the Democratic National Convention in Boston to cover “weird news,” which is the best beat if you can get it. I filled each day with strange, random activities, mostly in or near the convention center – and one of them involved meeting some fans of Pop Candy who lived nearby. Somewhere I have a photo of the “robot” in their apartment, which (as I recall) was a piece of ‘70s-era industrial equipment that looked like it could come alive and kill you. Maybe he’ll see this and send a photo. I think his name was Neil.
Took my kid to the dentist and conned her into walking two miles home. I entertained her by singing commercial jingles from my youth, including the one that goes “I love eggs from my head down to my legs!” She hates eggs.
thursday 11/17
I’m going to a small comedy show tomorrow, and I’m pretty sure the ticket cost more than I paid to see massive bands at Madison Square Garden 10-15 years ago. There are so many things I can’t really afford now. I don’t live as well as I did in my 20s, when I went out to dinner all the time but also thought I’d live forever and didn’t need to save money. Even public school is like private school, because it costs more to live in a decent school district. Earlier this year, our landlord told us they were raising the rent by 25%.
Bought donuts and wine on the way home. Let the kid pick out a birthday present for her friend, and she chose a mushroom made of felt. Listened to Busy Philipps’ podcast. Wrote a story for a magazine. Couldn’t decide between Don’t Worry, Darling or the new Chelsea Hotel documentary or any movie with Ethan Hawke, so I read instead. Fell asleep with earpods in.
friday 11/18
Scrambling to get things done before a parent-teacher conference. Haven’t showered. Thinking about wigs and dreaming of a robot chef. Time to send the newsletter.
Thanks for reading! Before I go …
Here’s a preview of a new comic I wrote (!) that’s being drawn by Dean Haspiel. Look for it in 2023.
I posted new diary comics on Patreon this week.
This livestream of a tribute to R.E.M.’s Chronic Town looks like a win-win.
HAPPY THANKSGIVING, EVERYBODY!!
Keith all the time,
Whitney
I vote for Don't Worry Darling. Disturbingly good.