Your phone is ringing ... 🎀
You: Hello?
Me: Jingle jingle. Â
You: Oh, hey. I was just--
Me: Thinking about me? How sweet.
You: Actually, I was trimming my fingernails, but sure. What's up?
Me: Oh, it's the same scene. Full dishwasher, empty calendar.Â
You: But you've been amusing yourself somehow, right? Watching stuff? Reading stuff?
Me: Of course, but I'm mostly catching up. I just started Season 3 of YELLOWSTONE, for instance. It's deliciously soapy with such breathtaking scenery. Almost makes me feel like I'm getting out of the house.
You: I gotta see that one. What else?
Me: I finished Season 3 of FARGO and remain in love with Carrie Coon. The third episode is one of the best films I've seen all year. I finally saw UNDER THE SILVER LAKE, which I dug, though I can't for the life of me tell you what it was about. It's a little LONG GOODBYE-esque with a pinch of DONNIE DARKO and AMERICAN PSYCHO thrown in. Ultimately, it doesn't live up to any of those movies, but I applaud the effort.
You: What are you reading?
Me: A couple graphic novels: THE CASE OF THE MISSING MEN, which is like Nancy Drew on mushrooms. Cédric Taling's THOREAU AND ME dives into our environmental crisis with help from the ghost of Henry David Thoreau. And oh, our friend Josh Neufeld has a great online comic about racial health disparities called "A Tale of Two Pandemics." You can go read that for free right now.
You: Will do. What about music?
Me: I got a great tip from Joey O. about a new Merge Records compilation. All the songs cover Georgia bands--Will Butler covers R.E.M.'s "Elecrolite"! Other artists cover the B-52's, Pylon, the Indigo Girls. Our pal Herman made a New Wave holiday playlist. And oh, Adam Schatz made an animated video for his band, Landlady. He's so mega-talented and mega-productive, I don't know how he does it.
You: Speaking of videos, I think I saw you in one the other day talking about wet books? Or did I dream that?
Me: 'Twas no dream. Dean Haspiel and I have been making a lot of things during the pandemic, including some videos where we talk about whatever's on our minds. The other day it was the crime of wet books. Look for more soon.
You: You've been sharing tons of gift ideas for the last or . Got any more?
Me: We're down to the wire, so subscriptions and gift cards are a good way to go. Personally, I'd love to receive a Bandcamp gift card to support musicians. I'd also take a Stitch Fix gift, since I rarely buy clothes for myself. My daughter loves her monthly Tinker Crates, but all of the KiwiCo crates have offered me blissful moments of quiet over the years. There are also museum memberships, which help keep those institutions thriving. And PayPal offers dozens of gift cards you can buy and send online that include independent businesses and the big chains.
You: What about events? Anything happening this weekend?
Me: Glad you asked! The Andy Warhol Museum has been doing online screenings of hard-to-find Warhol films, and they have some good ones scheduled tonight and tomorrow. The Michel Gondry-inspired Swede Fest happens tonight, and longtime reader BIG BUSINESS has a short film in there. Cyndi Lauper's Home for the Holidays concert has an all-star lineup that includes Cher, Dolly Parton and Boy George! And on Saturday there's a livestreamed performance of Emmet Otter's Jug-Band X-Mas from The Hideout in Chicago.Â
You: That's a lot of stuff.
Me: I got more! A new Keith Haring documentary is streaming at PBS' website. And if your kid is stuck at home like mine, they may wanna try Jen Ferguson's all-ages drawing class Tuesdays at 3 p.m. on Instagram. Last week my daughter drew some impressive reindeer and snow-people.
You: Dang. I'm gonna have to quit my job so I can make time for all of these things.
Me: Please don't.
You: Well, I'm glad you called, but I--
Me: Gotta get back to your fingernails? Don't we all. Thanks for listening. And stay in touch! Email me at whitmath@gmail.com.
You: OK. Have a great weekend, Whitney.
*click*
Me (whispers): Love you.
"Until I was a teenager, I used red pokeberries for lipstick and a burnt matchstick for eyeliner. I used honeysuckle for perfume."
- Dolly Parton
Oh, hey! If you're A Person Of A Certain Age, you may wanna peruse the latest AARP magazine, where I have a tiny feature about arty bookshelves. (As a bonus, you can also learn how to "decode your belly signals." 99% of the time, mine is signaling that it needs a bagel.)
Reach out! Find me on Twitter, Instagram and at whitmath@gmail.com.