A short story & long-distance encouragement 🎈
Hi friends,
Last week I struggled to put together a newsletter--right now is such a time for action and outrage and urging change that little else seems important. Ultimately, I decided to share something else I wrote instead. Take care of yourselves, and let's keep fighting and marching forward!
xoxo
whitney
replacement therapy
(a very short story)
by whitney matheson
Have you ever had one of those days--or weeks or months or eras--where you just can't get it together? Maybe you don't sleep, or you cry a lot, or you worry 'til it hurts. Maybe you just stare at a fern for a long time, or you eat a bag of tortilla chips for breakfast.
I feel like maybe you know what I'm talking about, so I also feel comfortable telling you that I had a day like this very recently. And since drugs and drinks don’t really work on me anymore, I had to come up with a new kind of therapy.
So do you know what I did?
First, I replaced all my tears with little plastic googly eyes. After about 20 minutes of heavy crying, I'd accumulated enough pairs to stick one on every food item in my apartment. After a couple hours, I’d tiled my bathroom with them, and by the end of the day I was literally up to my ankles in eyes, rolling wildly at my every step.
Next, I decided to replace my anxiety with '80s buddy comedies. I have a lot of anxiety, so this was a big job; 48 Hrs. and Lethal Weapon alone wouldn't cut it. I threw in The Blues Brothers. Weird Science. Bill & Ted. I tried to add Tango and Cash, but that didn't work because it's a terrible movie. Thelma & Louise didn't work because it was released in 1991. 9 to 5 finally nailed it.
After that, it was off to the races: I replaced my loneliness with tacos. I replaced my negative looping thoughts with Stevie Nicks'Â shawls. I replaced my sleeplessness with the color vermilion, my wasted time with my grandmother's voice and my hopelessness with the first six seconds of "Wouldn't It Be Nice"Â by the Beach Boys.Â
Thousands of googly eyes later, I got through it. I woke up the next day and felt like a sad lead apron had been lifted from my chest. I got dressed. I drank some coffee. I replaced my procrastination with the smell of your shampoo.Â
And then I sat down at my desk to write.
I'm inspired by how many of you are making cool stuff right now. Our Chicago-based pal Thomas Comerford recorded a song called "Our Valley" remotely with his band. Watch the lovely video here. Buy it for a buck on Bandcamp.
A few recommendations: The brilliant new season of Karina Longworth's YOU MUST REMEMBER THIS podcast spotlights influential (and overlooked) production designer, producer and screenwriter Polly Platt • Jonathan Caouette's TARNATION is now on the Criterion Channel. I love this doc, which was made for just $218 • Roz gives us a heads-up that WARHOL, Blake Gopnik's new 976-page bio, is only $3.99 on Apple Books • Nominations for the Eisner Awards are out, so now I have a long comics reading list • And Brian Wilson's at-home performance of "God Only Knows" will tug on your heart.
“If I have someone who believes in me, I can move mountains."
- Diana Ross
"The only person I really believe in is me."
- Debbie Harry
Reach out! Find me on Twitter, Instagram and at whitmath@gmail.com.