Pick up the phone ...
Me: Who's the sexiest character in the Star Wars universe?
You: Hello to you, too. And wait, what are you asking? I haven't had coffee yet.
Me: The sexiest Star Wars character. Who is it?
You: I dunno, Han? Leia? Lando? Can't go wrong with the classics.
Me: I disagree.
You: (sighs) Of course you do. Let me guess: Vader. You wear the same color scheme. And he's probably a Depeche Mode fan, too.
Me: Nope. It's Lobot. He's the sexiest.
You: Lobot?! You're insane.
Me: He's cool, mysterious, tech-savvy, doesn't talk too much. What's sexier than that?
You: I don't know where to begin.
Me: So can I tell you what I've been doing this week?
You: How long will this take? I'm craving a bialy.
Me: First up, I saw VHYES. It's a weird, nostalgic comedy shot on VHS with a huge cast that includes Thomas Lennon, Kerri Kenney, Susan Sarandon, Tim Robbins ...
You: That's some star power.
Me: Well, it was directed by Susan and Tim's son, Jack Henry Robbins. It made me laugh out loud, and then near the end it threw a curveball and walloped my soul.
You: Ah, if only all movies did that.
Me: And then I listened to some podcasts: DEAD EYES is still fantastic and--speaking of Star Wars--features writer/director Rian Johnson this week. And I can't remember if I mentioned Adam Scott and Scott Aukerman interviewing Huey Lewis on their podcast, but it features some fun trivia about "We Are the World." And I'm so behind on THE JUMP, in which Shirley Manson talks to Courtney Love, Karen O, Neko Case and other cool folks.
You: Did anything make you cry this week?
Me: I don't know what's in your coffee, but yeah, this interview with Mel Brooks and Carl Reiner made me a little emotional. They've been friends for 70 years.
You: Aww.
Me: I've also gotten a lot of good tips from newsletter subscribers lately. For instance, I'll have to show you a photo Chris M. sent me of himself with comedian Todd Barry. He met him after a show in Cleveland and said Todd gave him some comedy tips, because Chris is also a comedian.
You: Cool! What else?
Me: Chris also sent me the Spotify playlist for HALF-COCKED, a '90s rock 'n' roll movie I haven't thought about in a long time. Versus, Helium, Polvo and The Grifters are just a few of the bands on there. Music-wise, Ricky F. wrote me to recommend a book called COOL TOWN by Grace Elizabeth Hale that explores the musical history of Athens, Ga. Ricardo just watched THE VANISHING on Criterion and loved it. Todd is digging MIRACLE WORKERS: DARK AGES with Daniel Radcliffe on TBS.
You: That's a lot of good stuff.
Me: Chug it down before the world ends.
You: Anything coming up that I should put on the calendar?
Me: I'm so glad you asked. A new version of Steven Spielberg's AMAZING STORIES arrives on Apple TV+ today. On March 8 Reelz airs a special called THE FACTS OF LIFE: BEHIND CLOSED DOORS. I wanna see the new movies EXTRA ORDINARY with Maeve Higgins and Will Forte and SWALLOW, a thriller about a woman who likes to swallow tiny objects.
You: That sounds horrifying ... yet intriguing.
Me: I know! Also, a new Stephen Malkmus record came out today. And the new Thundercat video is everything I needed.
You: I'll try to fit those in between trips to the store for soap, soup and disinfectant wipes.
Me: Who needs sanitizer when you have art?
You: So I hate to rush you, but ...
Me: I know. I gotta go, too. Let's keep in touch this week, though -- you can email me at whitmath@gmail.com or leave me a text/voicemail at 929-515-1988.
You: Or I can just write down my message to you, crumple it up and throw it at the sun.
Me: That, too. Have a lovely week. Thanks for listening.
You: You, too.
*click*